Kiss and Tell: Check All the Boxes, The Truth about Relationship Quotas
What are your requirements for a partner? 401k? 6’2” and up? Whatever they may be, it might be better to have them jotted down in your notes app rather than written in stone. We all have at least a few things that we won’t budge on when it comes to dating. Whether it be who pays for the first date or how often you call, it’s normal to have standards for who you’re dating. But is there a point where it gets too specific?
With the rise of dating content on apps like TikTok and Instagram, it’s easy to see the relationships others are in as perfect. We’re seeing the finely tuned highlights of something that may not be perfect, and it’s getting hard to tell. Everything people do seems to be sorted in one of three categories: red flags, green flags, and the ever confusing beige flag. Green is good, red is bad, and beige is some sort of in-between, neutral option.
As much as we want a perfect relationship with no problems (all green flags), it’s not realistic. There is no such thing as perfect. It’s one thing to expect your partner to be kind and caring, and another to cut them off because they asked you to show up for them.
Trying to fit something so fluid into a tight box might be limiting our options. Sticking to a type may be your downfall.
What about all the great guys who are under 5’7”? Sure some might be a little uncomfortable if they’re looking up at you, but why not give it a shot (I’m 5’8” and once had a man ramble on about how I was “emasculating him” by being taller than him, but it was probably a one off experience…probably)? Zendaya, the icon and legend herself, is 5’10” and dating a man who’s 5’7”. Granted, it’s Tom Holland, a cutie with an amazing sense of humor, but my point still stands.
When it comes to “alpha male” and “red pill” content, it’s easy to spot the logic flaws. Of course women shouldn’t have to dedicate their lives to motherhood and wifehood if they don’t want to. So should we be subjecting men to the same? Should they have to work a 9 to 5 with a 401k to be “worthy” of a relationship.
If that’s your prerogative, by all means date a corporate daddy. But if that’s the only type of person you’re dating, maybe give a more artistic partner a try. Switching things up could be fun!
When it comes to emotional intimacy, be absolutely clear with what you want. I think one of the biggest clashes couples get into is not having a clear line of communication. With the rise of confusing situationships and impossible to read interactions, you deserve better. If you want it to turn into a relationship, you have to tell them. They can’t read your mind, and expecting them to is not fair to them. If you want things to go further, make your feelings known. If they don’t reciprocate, it’s time to find someone who fits what you’re looking for.
We’ve all had someone we thought was “the one” and ended up being a fling. There’s no shame in moving on.
Call me crazy, but if they really were your soulmate and your twin flame, they’d WANT, actually no they’d ACHE to be with you. You deserve a love that feels how Hozier sounds.
Emotions are not an area you should be making concessions in, but let’s not limit ourselves when it comes to how people appear. Make your stances clear, but be open to new people and ideas. You’re hot, so there’s no reason why the right person won’t find you.
That’s all for now so keep it cute, stay safe, and I’ll see you next week.
XOXO, Gillian
Got dating problems? Email us at primadonna.kissandtell@gmail.com, and we might just answer you in our next column update!
