Pity Party

by Jocelyn McEvers

    Although some may be reluctant to admit it, I can guarantee that we have all thrown ourselves a pity party at one point or another. Whether it be listening to sad music and eating ice cream in bed or drowning ourselves in $5 drinks at a cheap dive bar, we all have our ways of coping with feelings of self-sympathy. In these states of sorrow, it can sometimes bring us great comfort to sit back and wonder why life is often so unfair. Contrary to the popular message that we should deal with misfortune in our lives by just “getting over it,” I’m here to tell you that it’s okay, and sometimes even necessary, to feel sorry for yourself. 

    The truth of the matter is that we live in a world where we are expected to do it all, and attempting to succeed simultaneously in our professional, social, personal, and educational endeavors can be overwhelmingly unbearable. Far too many people are held to unachievable standards, and striving to be perfect is both impossible and extremely harmful to one’s well-being. When we experience feelings of self-doubt and insecurity due to these expectations, I firmly believe that it is okay to indulge in our desires to get lost in emotion. Suppressed thoughts have the power to corrupt our minds and weaken the relationships we have with ourselves and other people. Accepting the urge to temporarily enter a pit of self-pity can be beneficial as it allows us to reflect upon ourselves, which often inspires self-improvement. Avoiding and neglecting to address emotions is more dangerous than you may think, and pushing our problems to the side ultimately allows them to build up and take over our lives. 

   Now, I feel that it is worth mentioning that there is a right way and a wrong way to go about throwing a pity party. When facing sorrow head-on, many people are inclined to cope with the pain by engaging in highly self-destructive behaviors, which will most likely contribute to the manifestation of even more problems to deal with in the future. The goal of giving into your sadness should be to come out of it feeling as though you have lightened the burden of the issue at hand. So how should you go about planning a productive pity party? 

1. The guest list: at this event, everything is about you, and you are the sole guest of honor, so I would recommend keeping the party small. It will probably be most comfortable for you to let your emotions out without being watched, but invite someone you trust along for the ride if you prefer having company. 

2. The location: since this is most likely a private event, it’s a good idea to throw a pity party in a place where you feel secure and secluded. Whether in your bedroom, at your favorite park, or in your car, anything goes!

3. The dress code: this is a pity party, not a fashion show! Absolutely no dress codes should be enforced, and feel free to wear whatever makes you feel your best. 

4. What to bring: of course, you have a few practical options, like tissues, comfort food, a person that is always there for you, or a journal to write down your thoughts in. But again, bring anything that has the potential to make you feel better, no matter how random or weird it may be. 

  After all, it’s your life, and if screaming at the unfairness of it all or throwing a temper tantrum brings you the slightest bit of solace, go for it! As long as you understand that remaining stuck in an infinite state of pity won’t get you any closer to finding happiness, it is perfectly fine to release pent-up emotions from time to time. There is beauty to be found in sadness, and giving ourselves permission to feel contributes to self-understanding. 💌

Stylist / Faith Giadolor

Model / Grace O’farrell

Hair / Grace O’farrell

Makeup / Grace O’farrell, Pilar Bradley

Photographer / Shea Baasch

Graphic Design / Maddie Paradise